A senior couple share their story of getting marriage the second time around.
Oscar Wilde famously said, “Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” Truer words were never spoken, say those who have given second marriage a chance. All those who have given life a second chance with a new companion find this resonates well with everyone.
Ask RS Sharma. He is the voice of experience. The now 82-year-old entrepreneur from Delhi met his second wife after he put out a matrimonial advertisement in a national daily. “Twenty years back I gave marriage and companionship a second go. I have no regrets,” says RS Sharma. The year was 2001 and the news of second marriages, especially of people with grown-up kids in their 20s and 30s, was unheard of. He was a widower with grandkids and his children weren’t supportive of his decision.
But times have changed and second marriages are not uncommon anymore. Though it isn’t a norm, Gen Z or millennials are more accepting of their single parent opting for a second marriage.
“Yes, times have changed now. When I first told my son about my choice to get remarried, he was uncomfortable with the idea. He couldn’t understand why I wanted to get married again after a bitter first marriage, which lasted, a little over a year,” says Omana Sharma, wife of RS Sharma. She separated from her husband when her son was a few months old and got remarried when her son was 22-years-old.
“Society can be cruel sometimes. His friends could have embarrassed him saying the mother is getting married when she should be looking for a daughter-in-law,” she adds. She was in her late 40s at that time and the decision of a remarriage wasn’t an easy one to make.
The stigma around older people getting remarried, in India, is huge. “Some of my relatives didn’t speak to me for months. But my biggest support was my brother-in-law who arranged our temple wedding ceremony,” says RS Sharma.
“Everyone supported me, my two sisters were my biggest strength. They were the ones who encouraged me to respond to his matrimonial advertisement and arranged our first meeting,” says Omana Sharma.
But times have changed. Today there are several organisations, from dating apps to matrimonial sites, that cater exclusively to senior citizens. Vina Mulya Amulya Sewa, is a Ahmedabad-based marriage bureau for the elderly, that has connected several second-unions. Hyderabad based Thodu Needa, a government-registered NGO, helps senior citizens find love. The matrimonial portal secondwedlock.com offers its services to widows, widowers and divorcees till the age of 75. Additionally, there are Vasantha Remarriage Services in Chennai and Happy Seniors dating agency from Pune that encourage senior citizens to meet like-minded people.
“It is my life, my choice. I have always believed in that adage. The role of a companion in your life can’t be taken by anyone – neither your children or your friends,” says RS Sharma.
“It’s the best decision of my life,” his wife adds. The couple celebrate 20 years of matrimony next year and have travelled the world in these ensuing years. Their children are also happy that they have each other. Love, truly, has no age bar.